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Agent Provocateur – Fifty Shades of Seductive - (March 19, 2012 New Fragrance Listing)

Photo - Wikipedia - Agent Provocateur store in Soho, London

by Arpingstone, July, 2010


An imaginary encounter between Agent Provocateur EdP and Gwen

The Scene: The Virtual Red Room of Perfume

Time: The present

“Thank you agreeing to this interview. Visitors to our blog will love to read about you,” I say as I take my seat opposite the bottle of Agent Provocateur.

“Not at all. I read the piece you wrote on Boadicea the Victorious. It was very good, so I was pleased to be asked,” she responds.

“Thank you for the compliment. Now, how would you like to be addressed?” I ask.

“Oh, in here I like to be called Madam,” she says with a sly smile.

Huh? What’s that about? All right then, let’s get on with it.

“When were you born?” I ask.

“In 2000, in London,” she says. “I am the first in a line of fragrance and beauty products from Agent Provocateur the British lingerie retailer founded in 1994.”

“Celebrities really like your products,” I say.

“Well, we very early on developed a strict confidentiality agreement to protect our clientele. Celebrities like that and so they support the brand.”

Jeez, she sounds like a real control freak.

I notice the whips and paddles mounted on the wall.

“Agent Provocateur is known for more than just lingerie and perfume.”

Madam arches an eyebrow, leans into me and says “That’s not a question Miss G. As our website states: Our accessories cover every element of the boudoir seduction ritual and make perfect presents; from playful nipple pasties and naughty whips & paddles, to glamorous garters and sensual silk blindfolds.”

Holy crap! Whips? Nipple pasties? I decide to change tack.

“Are you unisex?” I ask.

Madam inhales sharply, looks me straight in the eyes and says confidently, “No. I’m definitely feminine.”

“Do you have any hobbies, Madam?” I ask.

“Well, I like to practice the skill of seduction using scent and the provocation of the senses,” she says.

She notices when I shift in my seat.

“You seem intrigued Miss G.,” Madam says.

Wait a minute – who’s interviewing who?

“Well, I’m always interested in exploring scent” I say.

“Then, I propose a little exercise, “ she says with a gleam in her eye. She seems to be appraising me.

“Here, now?” I ask a little hesitantly.

Jeez, my heart is pounding.

“What do you propose?” I ask.

“That you let me provoke your senses so that you can truly experience and enjoy Agent Provocateur perfume.”

“I’m 100% in,” I say. I’ve wanted this for so long.

“This is a process and for our mutual satisfaction, I need you to trust me, to surrender to me. For this, I need to know your hard limits,” she says.

Holy crap!

An involuntary shiver runs down my spine. I swallow hard.

 “I have an allergy to all metals except pure gold, so those cuffs hanging on the wall are out. I’m prone to eczema so whipping isn’t good and floggers just tickle me and tickling will send me right over the edge…..”

Madam rolls her eyes. “For what I have in mind, we’ll just use a blindfold.”

Jeez, that’s disappointing. Like driving 40 kph in a Formula one race car.

Her mellow voice snaps me out of my reverie.

“Now, lean back in your chair.” She ties a silk blindfold over my eyes. “Now, put your arms out wrist side up.”

I can’t see a thing. But I can hear her moving around the room. The sound of a cupboard door opening? Porcelain bottles rattling?

Suddenly, I hear a spritzing sound and I feel a spray of liquid on my wrist.

“Sniff,” she says, her voice strong yet seductive.

What a control freak!

I hesitate for a moment. What if it smells of dirty, nasty knickers?

 “Sniff,” she says again.

Tentatively, I bring my wrist to my nose and smell a beguiling opening of saffron, spicy and warm along with luscious magnolia. With my eyes covered, all I can do is focus on the fragrance – the smell and the feel of it without distraction.

My body bows and I tilt my head back, closing my eyes, relishing the smell. I release a groan.

“I want more,” I growl.

“Be patient,” says Madam in a warm, silky voice. When she tells me to, I sniff again.

The scent is blooming now, moving to a rich floral heart laden with rose, jasmine and gardenia and taking me with it. The voluptuous rose dominates and warmed by the saffron it evolves seductively on my skin. As I surrender myself to its opulence my breathing becomes ragged.

“Do you trust me?” she asks.

“Yes.” I manage.

“Good. There’s more to come,” says Madam. “It’s the anticipation that makes it so worthwhile.” I can feel her smile.

I wait. And there it is. The base. Cedar wood is here to give it a woodiness, while vetiver, moss, amber and musk come forward and envelope the rose giving it an animalic dirtiness that plays off the floral heart so seductively, it’s almost unbearable.  What a tease! So provocative and erotic it’s at least fifty shades of seductive. Does it smell like dirty underwear? No, but it does suggest sexual adventure.

I slump back down into my chair and exhale. My inner perfume goddess has just slumped down on an oversized red satin pillow and lit up a cigarette.

“It seems I have discovered your fetish for floral chypres,” Madam whispers in my ear. “You belong to me now.”

Jeez, she’s not shy. In fact, she can be kinda bold.

“I can’t,” I say, gathering my thoughts. “It’s too stifling. I’ll never flourish wearing just one scent. I need some freedom. I need….. more.”

“But I only want what’s best for you,” she says, sounding crestfallen.

I remove the blindfold from my eyes.

“I know.” I say, in a comforting tone. “And I know that if I need you, you’re just a spritz away. But if we are to have any future together, you have to trust me. Besides, you'll always be my Fifty Shades.”

"Laters, Baby.'

I gather my things together, give Agent Provocateur one last sniff and walk out of the room.

Then I run, run to buy a bottle of Agent Provocateur.

....With apologies to E.L.James, author of Fifty Shades of Grey.

Agent Provocateur is listed in our Decant Store. Decants are $5.00 for 1 ml.


Agent Provocateur listing

You gals should write movies! but seriously, sounds Provocateur devine!

Re: Agent Provocateur listing

Thanks for the comment, but for now we're so busy sniffin' and writing, that the movies haven't even hit our radar.
Of course, if we got a solid offer....