34 boulevard Saint Germain - warm and floral and woody

Photo: perfumeniche.com

The Scene: The Wellness Centre for Health Care

Doctor: [opens Gwen’s file and starts to read it] So, Gwen, what brings you here on this gorgeous summers’ day.

Gwen: I don’t feel right.

Doctor: Hmm. Are you dizzy?

Gwen: No.

Doctor: Hmm. Nauseous?

Doctor: Diarrhea?

Gwen: No.

Doctor: Bieber fever?

Gwen: What?

Doctor: I had to ask. There’s a lot of that going around you know.

Gwen: I don’t feel sick, I just feel flat. I have no energy, no interest, no vim or vigor.

Doctor: I see. Well, let me look you over.

A few minutes later.

Doctor: Well, your heart rate is good, blood pressure is normal and your ears, nose and throat are fine. [Doctor pauses, deep in thought] You know, I think you need a vacation.

Gwen: But I just came back from vacation!

Doctor: Really? Where did you go?

Gwen: Well, Paris and then….

Doctor: Stop right there, I think I know what the problem is.  

Gwen: What?

Doctor: Well, I won’t give you the Latin name, but in plain English it’s called PPS.

Gwen: That’s not plain English, those are initials. What do they stand for?

Doctor: Post Paris Syndrome. I see it from time to time in people who visit Paris and then come home and really want to be back in The City of Light.

Gwen: But I’ve been to Paris lots of times and I’ve never had this before.

Doctor: [Hangs his head and moves it slowly from side to side] It’s cumulative I’m afraid. And once you have it you can suffer flashbacks, hallucinations, disorientation and trouble speaking English.

Gwen: Vraimant?

Doctor: [sighs] Yes, really.

The Doctor takes out his prescription pad and starts writing.

Doctor: I’m going to suggest a little something.

Gwen: But I don’t want antidepressants!

Doctor: No, Paxil or Prozac won’t work here. I recommend a more elegant approach.

He tears a sheet off the prescription pad and holds it out to Gwen. She takes it from his hand and looks it over.

Gwen: Hey, this isn’t a prescription! It’s just got an address, 34 boulevard Saint Germain written on it. Wait a minute….34 boulevard Saint Germain... that’s in…. Paris.

Doctor: Very good. There’s nothing wrong with your brain function. Actually, it’s an address and a fragrance and a cure for your loss of joie de vivre.

Gwen: Huh?

Doctor: 34 boulevard Saint Germain  is a fragrance launched earlier this year by Diptyque to commemorate their 50 anniversary.  It’s named in honour of the address of their first store, which was in Paris.

Gwen: Hey, how come you know so much about it?

Doctor: [Averts his eyes and clears his throat] My wife came back from Paris a month ago with PPS and the only thing that snapped her out of it was spritzing 34 boulevard Saint Germain on her wrists and then sniffing it throughout the day as needed. Transported her back to Paris and let her slowly ease back into life at home, though she still only makes tartines for dinner every night, but it’s better than it was.

Gwen: Interesting. How does it work?

Doctor: Well, it’s all in the juice. You see, 34 boulevard Saint Germain opens with a note luscious cassis berries, a note of green and zesty citrus. Warm pink pepper, herbaceous cardamom, and spicy cinnamon and clove round out the top notes and set the stage for a floral chypre heart of rose, geranium, tuberose, iris and violet - what a bouquet!  The base smells of patchouli tempers the floral notes and gives the perfume depth while balsam and eucalyptus give it a cool evergreen lift.

Gwen: Say, I’m impressed.

Doctor: [blushes] Well, it’s just chemistry….and my wife reads your blog.

Gwen: [slips off the examination table] Well, I’d better be on my way and get a bottle of this tonic.

One week later.

Gwen: Hello Doctor. I’m just calling to let you know that your perfume therapy worked. I’ve got my joie de vivre back!

Doctor: Well, thanks for calling and letting me know. I’m glad it worked out.

Gwen: So, I was wondering - do you have a scent that will to help me lose weight?

Doctor: There’s no perfume that can help you lose weight I’m afraid. For that, you will need the JEL diet.

Gwen: More initials? The JEL diet?

Doctor: Yep. The ‘Just Eat Less’ diet.

Gwen: [rolls her eyes] You know Wednesdays are open mike nights at Yuk Yuk's......

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